Archive for April, 2017

In March I took solitude to a whole new level.  This in turn caused an increased hunger for it.


When I started this journey of solitude, the desire to have more time without the distractions and noise of the world grew.  The opportunity arose in March.  I went to a silent retreat weekend led by Laura Petherbridge.


How would I face almost a full forty-eight hours of no phones, computer, TV and absolutely no talking?   I admit I find it difficult to talk to God in my head,  so I have to talk out loud, so for me it was not total “silence”.


Communication was limited to two counseling sessions.  We could not even talk at meals.  That was a little awkward when you’re at an Abby and even the monks can talk to each other and your group sits there just looking at each other or our food.


My goal centered on this:  no expectations.  Let God be God and listen to what He had to say.   Apparently I went in with expectations, for the first morning I felt frustrated. I desperately wanted to pick up phone, call my mentor, JoAnn, and go home.


My greatest fear came true: God’s voice was non – existent.  I sat in the counseling session and cried and cried.


Laura looked at me paused then said, “Perhaps God is not giving direction because He wants to heal some things first.  You expect the “hallelujah” moment when all He wants you to do is be still, soak Him in and heal some of the perceptions you have of yourself. You struggle with a lack of trust, fear, even hatred of self.  I feel God is wanting to heal rather than give direction.” We sat in silence for a few moments.


“You’re also a doer,” she continued, “ You have to do and do and do in order to be a good Christian and what you really need is to learn to be. Then balance the two.”


I sat there stunned, but refreshed.  I realized solitude isn’t always about what God wants me to do.  Many times it’s just to sit and be still.


Laura spurred me on, “Let God speak to you and tell you who you are in Him.  Find verses so that when the enemy plants seeds of self loathing, mistrust, or fear you can say ‘It is written… say the verse’, and he will flee.”


When I left the counseling session my first reaction was “Okay, God let’s get those verses.”  But then the thought immediately came, “No, just be.  He will show them to me in His time, in His way.”  I found a fountain outside, sat down and enjoyed the nature around me.


The rest of the weekend went well.  I basked in who He was, my Father.


I discovered in a deeper sense, that solitude centers on relationship.


God will tell me when He is good and ready and most importantly when He knows I’m ready to hear that “next step”.


One verse that stood out to me that weekend was Song of Solomon 7:10:

 “I am my beloveds and my beloved desires me.”


God desires me.  His desire for me, is to know Him in a deep an intimate way.


As much as I wanted to hear where I was headed, I needed to hear that the Creator of the Universe desires me.  He desires all of me; every strength, every weakness, every flaw, every single part of me.  He loves me that much.  He desires to make me into more than I could ever dream. But most of all He wants me to be still.


How about it?  Is it too big of a risk to take some time to be away, at a park, away from the distractions of the world, and be still before Him? Go without the phone, or expectations and let Him direct the time.  He may just want you to enjoy a walk through His creation.


Be amazed and awed in the One who desires you.


If you are interested in attending a silent retreat, either click on Laura’s name within the blog or go to the link below.



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A New Name

We had a few couples over on New Year’s Day for a Thanksgiving dinner.  You read right. We had turkey and all the fixings.


We sat around and talked, the subject came up about our New Year’s lists or resolutions.  Many people don’t make them. I guess because they’re honest and figure resolutions are nice but will be forgotten.  My lists all came down to one word: “transformation”.


The weirdest thing happened during our conversation. My husband spoke.  It wasn’t the fact that he spoke up but it’s what he said that startled me, “Before Chris and I got married…”


I thought I heard wrong.  “Whoa! Why did you just call me, Chris?”


“I didn’t.”


“Yes, you did. You never call me Chris. No one has called me Chris since high school.”


He denied it until everyone around the table agreed.


One friend looked over at me and said, “You do look more like a Chris than a Christine. Hmm. Before transformation comes a new name.  It’s throughout scripture.”


“Well that settles it, this is a God thing.” My husband said, “From now on I’ll call you Chris as a reminder of what God is going to do this year.”


My first reaction was, yeah right.  That will never happen.  He’ll forget, so I blew it off.


He has called me Chris ever since.  Not only that, those who were there that day started calling me Chris.  And now it looks like the whole Sunday school is accepting my new name.


I’ve embraced it, too. It’s how I introduce myself now for the most part.  I’ve even changed my facebook page to Chris to the chagrin of my parents, who think I’m a little nuts.  But that’s okay.


“With transformation comes a new name.”  That statement from my friend has stuck with me.  If we look at scripture we see this frequently throughout;  Abram turned to Abraham, Sarai to Sarah, Jacob to Israel, Simon to Peter, Levi to Matthew, Saul to Paul.


Casting Crowns has a new song and the bridge goes like this “Throw down your old chains, Pick up your new name.”*


I cried the first time I heard it about a week after New Years.


When we come into a relationship with Christ we are being adopted in His family and given a new a life.   I know several couples who are foster parents.  A few have welcomed into their home as their own children.


At the adoption they changed the names of the children.  It’s as if they were saying, “This is your new family. You have a fresh start, a new family and a new name.”


God adopts each one who is His child.  He has no grandchildren.  We are a new creation. Our old life is gone, and a new journey with a new family begins.  (2 Corinthians 5:17)


I believe my husband is right.  This is a God thing.  Now I’m not saying that by changing what name I go by means that magically I will be a new person.  It will take time.  However, every time I hear Chris I remember God is going to work and transform me this year.  Now, when someone calls me Chris, I almost burst out laughing, and yet deep within – excitement wells up – wondering what is in store.


Are you one of His?  God’s desire is for you to be one of His children.  What is stopping you from becoming one of His?  He wants to create in you a new heart, new life and give you new name (Revelations 2:17).


If you want to know more about being one of His, open the tap “An Invitation” at the top of this page.




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