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It’s been a long time since I have visited Solitude with the Father. Deep down I have longed to be here, but God has had different ideas. Which brings me to the word for my year; Hope.


In today’s world the word hope has strayed from its original meaning.  It’s usually associate with a “maybe” connotation.


The true meaning of hope is “expectation, expect with confidence.” As I have been studying this word, I found a hard saying by Paul in his letter to the Romans.


“…but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character and proven character, hope;” (Romans 5:3-4 NASB)


Here it comes.


“and hope does not disappoint…”


The first time I saw this I froze, tears welled up and a little anger welled up with the tears.  If hope (anticipation and expectation) doesn’t disappoint, then where was the transformation I prayed for last year?  Where is the totally changed person I expected?


The only transformation that came was a deep depression, where I would do anything to go to a far away place and be alone.


I was praying and in the Word daily, yet nothing changed except the dusk turned to darkness without even a flicker of one star. It was terrifying.  I have fought bouts of depression before, but nothing like this.


The last part of verse five says


“…because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”


How could this be because of God’s love? The Holy Spirit whispered to my heart. “Christine, hope is expectation without your expectations to be fulfilled. Keep your eyes, ears, and heart open — not set and stubborn. Hope doesn’t disappoint because transformation springs from the love of God. In trials, hope is the expectation of how God is going to refine you.”


What I realized, God is going to transform, and grow me in any way He sees fit.  The depression was allowed, why? To show me, now is the time.  The time to take care of deep seated issues, fears, anxieties. I was going to need help with it.


It’s been a process.  And it isn’t over yet.  But one thing I do know, because I belong to God as His beloved child, I have hope that healing will come. Transformation will come. Experiencing God in ways I never thought possible will come. Experiencing stillness and knowing He is God will come.  I also know that it may not be in ways I think, but they will come.


It’s exciting and scary at the same time. With my eyes, ears and heart open to Him I wait in expectation with exuberant anticipation of what He will do. I have seen glimpses of Him through the dark. In fact, there are little holes He has punctured to let streams of light in.  He will continue to work through the trials to grow me.


That is the best kind of hope.


“For my thoughts are not your thoughts. Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So My ways higher than your ways. And My thoughts than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55: 8-9

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If you know anything about football (American) you know that there are four quarters played.  But right between the second and third quarters is what is called half time.  The players go into the locker room, discuss the good and bad of the first half, then strategically plan how to go into the second half.


It’s June, and we are soon to enter the second half of the year 2017.  It’s hard to believe.  There are still 24 hours in the day and yet the older I get the quicker the time.


The other morning I sat on the back porch with a cup of coffee in my hand being still before the Lord.  I was running our Sunday lesson through my head.  Can you guess the title?  Half-Time: Moving from Success to Significance.  I chuckled.   Halfway through the year and we’re talking about the second half of our lives being more focused on significance.


I thought of my word for the year, transformation, and wondered was I making any strides?  A lot has happened in the past six months;  however, was change being made?


Then a question from Brannon Manning’s book The Furious Longing of God, came to mind:


“How often do you monitor your spiritual growth?  Several times a day?  Once a month?  Every thirty days? Twice a year?”*


It’s good for me to sit and reflect on where I’ve been and where I feel like the Lord is leading, but I get in the habit of going through the day checking every action, every word, etc.  I monitor my spiritual walk and just about everything I do.


The funny thing is it’s not my job.  It’s His and His only through the work of His Spirit.   I’m not saying that it isn’t good to take inventory once in a while.  However, it is not for me to carry around the monitor of change and growth with me every minute of every day.


There are three things that happen when I take control of the monitor.


First, me being a doer, I tend to set my standards high – way too high. When I don’t meet those standards, I get frustrated, depressed and feel like a failure because I’m not growing.


Furthermore, monitoring of self also starts a slippery slope of comparison.  I can look at others and see “giants” of faith and say I must be doing something wrong. My standards aren’t high enough.  I turn spiritual disciplines into legalistic performance. My goals are attempted in my own strength.


Lastly, as I take the role of monitor, I am more focused on the “change” then I am on living life and allowing God to work.


When I give God the role as monitor, He will grow what He wants to, when He wants to, and how He wants to.  I think that’s why over the past year as I embraced the study, “Read for Life –Reading the Bible Chronologically” in my church’s women’s ministry. The growth God worked through this study proved to be amazing.  I was allowing the Holy Spirit to teach what He wanted me to learn just by reading the Word.  Not that studies from well known teachers — like Beth Moore or Pricilla Shirer — aren’t great, but many times the studies can be all about what I should be doing and I don’t allow God to grow the concepts in me.


I will continue to take these studies, but I have to be willing to allow God to grow character traits, or spiritual fruit, in me.


To give God the control of my growth, He has shown me things that need healing, changing and encouragement that I never knew I needed.  There is also relief and peace to know that I am not in charge.


Are you monitoring your spiritual growth?  “How often do you monitor your spiritual growth?  Several times a day?  Once a month?  Every thirty days? Twice a year?”*


I would like to challenge you to allow God to monitor your growth for a month and during those weeks be still, listen for His voice and obey.  I think you may be surprised at what you experience through His work and strength.  And when you look in the mirror months from now you may notice Christ in you a little more.


“But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed in the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.”

2 Corinthians 3:18 (NASB)





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In March I took solitude to a whole new level.  This in turn caused an increased hunger for it.


When I started this journey of solitude, the desire to have more time without the distractions and noise of the world grew.  The opportunity arose in March.  I went to a silent retreat weekend led by Laura Petherbridge.


How would I face almost a full forty-eight hours of no phones, computer, TV and absolutely no talking?   I admit I find it difficult to talk to God in my head,  so I have to talk out loud, so for me it was not total “silence”.


Communication was limited to two counseling sessions.  We could not even talk at meals.  That was a little awkward when you’re at an Abby and even the monks can talk to each other and your group sits there just looking at each other or our food.


My goal centered on this:  no expectations.  Let God be God and listen to what He had to say.   Apparently I went in with expectations, for the first morning I felt frustrated. I desperately wanted to pick up phone, call my mentor, JoAnn, and go home.


My greatest fear came true: God’s voice was non – existent.  I sat in the counseling session and cried and cried.


Laura looked at me paused then said, “Perhaps God is not giving direction because He wants to heal some things first.  You expect the “hallelujah” moment when all He wants you to do is be still, soak Him in and heal some of the perceptions you have of yourself. You struggle with a lack of trust, fear, even hatred of self.  I feel God is wanting to heal rather than give direction.” We sat in silence for a few moments.


“You’re also a doer,” she continued, “ You have to do and do and do in order to be a good Christian and what you really need is to learn to be. Then balance the two.”


I sat there stunned, but refreshed.  I realized solitude isn’t always about what God wants me to do.  Many times it’s just to sit and be still.


Laura spurred me on, “Let God speak to you and tell you who you are in Him.  Find verses so that when the enemy plants seeds of self loathing, mistrust, or fear you can say ‘It is written… say the verse’, and he will flee.”


When I left the counseling session my first reaction was “Okay, God let’s get those verses.”  But then the thought immediately came, “No, just be.  He will show them to me in His time, in His way.”  I found a fountain outside, sat down and enjoyed the nature around me.


The rest of the weekend went well.  I basked in who He was, my Father.


I discovered in a deeper sense, that solitude centers on relationship.


God will tell me when He is good and ready and most importantly when He knows I’m ready to hear that “next step”.


One verse that stood out to me that weekend was Song of Solomon 7:10:

 “I am my beloveds and my beloved desires me.”


God desires me.  His desire for me, is to know Him in a deep an intimate way.


As much as I wanted to hear where I was headed, I needed to hear that the Creator of the Universe desires me.  He desires all of me; every strength, every weakness, every flaw, every single part of me.  He loves me that much.  He desires to make me into more than I could ever dream. But most of all He wants me to be still.


How about it?  Is it too big of a risk to take some time to be away, at a park, away from the distractions of the world, and be still before Him? Go without the phone, or expectations and let Him direct the time.  He may just want you to enjoy a walk through His creation.


Be amazed and awed in the One who desires you.


If you are interested in attending a silent retreat, either click on Laura’s name within the blog or go to the link below.



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A New Name

We had a few couples over on New Year’s Day for a Thanksgiving dinner.  You read right. We had turkey and all the fixings.


We sat around and talked, the subject came up about our New Year’s lists or resolutions.  Many people don’t make them. I guess because they’re honest and figure resolutions are nice but will be forgotten.  My lists all came down to one word: “transformation”.


The weirdest thing happened during our conversation. My husband spoke.  It wasn’t the fact that he spoke up but it’s what he said that startled me, “Before Chris and I got married…”


I thought I heard wrong.  “Whoa! Why did you just call me, Chris?”


“I didn’t.”


“Yes, you did. You never call me Chris. No one has called me Chris since high school.”


He denied it until everyone around the table agreed.


One friend looked over at me and said, “You do look more like a Chris than a Christine. Hmm. Before transformation comes a new name.  It’s throughout scripture.”


“Well that settles it, this is a God thing.” My husband said, “From now on I’ll call you Chris as a reminder of what God is going to do this year.”


My first reaction was, yeah right.  That will never happen.  He’ll forget, so I blew it off.


He has called me Chris ever since.  Not only that, those who were there that day started calling me Chris.  And now it looks like the whole Sunday school is accepting my new name.


I’ve embraced it, too. It’s how I introduce myself now for the most part.  I’ve even changed my facebook page to Chris to the chagrin of my parents, who think I’m a little nuts.  But that’s okay.


“With transformation comes a new name.”  That statement from my friend has stuck with me.  If we look at scripture we see this frequently throughout;  Abram turned to Abraham, Sarai to Sarah, Jacob to Israel, Simon to Peter, Levi to Matthew, Saul to Paul.


Casting Crowns has a new song and the bridge goes like this “Throw down your old chains, Pick up your new name.”*


I cried the first time I heard it about a week after New Years.


When we come into a relationship with Christ we are being adopted in His family and given a new a life.   I know several couples who are foster parents.  A few have welcomed into their home as their own children.


At the adoption they changed the names of the children.  It’s as if they were saying, “This is your new family. You have a fresh start, a new family and a new name.”


God adopts each one who is His child.  He has no grandchildren.  We are a new creation. Our old life is gone, and a new journey with a new family begins.  (2 Corinthians 5:17)


I believe my husband is right.  This is a God thing.  Now I’m not saying that by changing what name I go by means that magically I will be a new person.  It will take time.  However, every time I hear Chris I remember God is going to work and transform me this year.  Now, when someone calls me Chris, I almost burst out laughing, and yet deep within – excitement wells up – wondering what is in store.


Are you one of His?  God’s desire is for you to be one of His children.  What is stopping you from becoming one of His?  He wants to create in you a new heart, new life and give you new name (Revelations 2:17).


If you want to know more about being one of His, open the tap “An Invitation” at the top of this page.




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I was cooking the other day, a Matthew West song came over the speakers.  I was taken back by the concept portrayed.  Love keeps no record of wrongs.


Does it sound familiar?  “Love is patient..it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrong…”  (1 Corinthians 13:5 NIV84)


If you’re like me the first thing that comes into my head is not holding onto resentment.  It so easy to keep a list of the wrongs people have done to us.


However, there is another way we hold on to a list, a list of our own wrongs.   I find it’s easier to forgive others  than I can forgive myself.  If I sat down right now and wrote out every mistake I could remember it would be a doozie of a list.


Love does not keep a record of wrongs.


I think it’s the reason I and so many others are miserable, or freeze up when having to make a decision.  We’re reminded of all the mistakes we made, and they hang on to us like the chains of Jacob Marley in Charles Dickens’ book  A Christmas Carol.


The rehashing of mistakes and the fear that freezes me to moved forward replaces the calling God has given me to live and to live an abundant life.  I also push away from the rich love God has for me.


When I hold onto the list of my wrongs  and mistakes tightly, in essence I’m saying, “Your Son’s sacrifice was worthless, and your forgiveness is nothing.”  I’m doubting and that is sin.  Catherine Marshall in her book The Helper states this:


“He (Jesus)*  claimed to be the Savior, to be able to save us from any sin, any bondage, any problems. By disclaiming that with regard to any one of my problems, I am calling Jesus a liar and a charlatan – a fake prophet – as truly as did those who long ago howled for His death before Pilate and who drove in the nails…we think of sin as the breaking of laws, whereas Jesus thinks of sin as being bound.  Why would anyone with good will condemn a poor man bound with chains or tied with heavy rope?  Would he not rather want to free him?”


When we take our mistakes to God for forgiveness, He forgives and forgets.


See I have another problem that is linked to all this.  I can’t tell you how many times, the enemy reminds me of things I have done, and immediately I ask for forgiveness again, and again.  I can picture the Father smiling and saying,  “What mistake?”


Take a look at some of these verses:


“ If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from  all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9 NASB)


He removes our sin as far as the east is from the west.”  (Psalm 103:11-13 NASB)


A person is blessed when they are forgiven, sins are covered and God doesn’t count it against them (Psalm 103:11-13 NASB)


“…For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sin no more” (Jeremiah 31:34 NIV84 based on the new covenant that was fulfilled through Christ.)


Loving God means keeping no record of our mistakes for this simple fact, He loved us so much that He doesn’t keep a record of them.  The list was ripped up when we received Christ as our Savior.  Confession is for our benefit.  He forgave us at the cross.


It’s time that we forgive ourselves, let go of the past and move forward.  It’s not easy but through the work of Holy Spirit it’s possible.   If God is love then He keeps no records of our wrongs, so it stands to reason we should not keep a record of our wrongs.


*My emphasis

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If you have read this blog over the past few years you might be saying to yourself I must have miss read the title.


I assure you, you have not.  It was time for a change.  For me, as a mother of three, volunteer, ministry worker and every other “hat” I may wear, the newest discipline I’m learning to practice and desire more of is solitude.


I enjoy the quiet moments of being home listening to quiet spa- like music, aromatherapy oils and a good book.  However, even at home I stare at all I have to do and many times can’t relax.


As I mentioned in the past, Jesus took time for solitude and the importance of taking the time to be away from the busyness of life to just focus on God. My relationship with Him is important enough to practice solitude.


This is the “atmosphere” I believe God desires to bring with the words typed here.   When I was thinking of a new title the only one that came to mind was Solitude With the Father.  I couldn’t get away from it.


When I picture a place of solitude I think of a small one room cabin in the mountains with a roaring fire in the stone fireplace, with a Bible, journal and pen or pencil.  No TVs or smart phone or any phone for that matter.  It’s just me and the Father together reading, talking and listening.


The hard aspect of solitude is that what I hear does not always bring about warm fuzzies.  If I am really present and willing to hear what He has for me, I have to be open to receiving the correction, discipline, and changes He want me to make.  It’s not comfortable at times.


I have cried, been angry, disappointed, and on cloud nine as I have met with Him.


The silence can also be deafening.


My desire, and I believe it’s God’s desire, is that Solitude with the Father is a way to continue to share my heart with you and many things that the Father has placed there.  This is a place I hope you will find encouragement in the hard times, a place to grow in your walk with Him, and even a place that spurs you on to make changes and seek Him out in your own solitude time.




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I wanted to give you a heads up that a change to Encouragement for the Journey will be coming soon. Like the transformation God does in our lives, I believe God is directing a transformation of a new title and look.   I prayed over this  for several months and believe that this is the path God has for this site. The posts will remain the same; however, the atmosphere, I pray, will bring out the heart I have for all you.  A heart for growth, change and encouragement.

Blessings to you all, and may the  God of love and peace draw you to Himself.

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Transformation – 2017

It’s that time of year. A new beginning. A clean slate.  Of course, this is also the part of the year that I make a list of resolutions.

December fifteenth I wrote my list or should I say lists.  The first, was a goal chart of five things I wanted to accomplish like reading two books a month.  The second list had to with my character.  What did I want to see changed such as embracing imperfection, and letting go of fear. I prayed over the lists.

Since I am an over achiever I started a little early and began to read a book entitled Journaling with Jesus – How to revolutionize your relationship with Jesus. By Laurie Snyman.

I figured I would work on two items at one time; my spiritual growth and writing skills.  But what I didn’t expect was the golden nugget that I found.  Ms. Snyman states,

“You could suffer the discomfort of changing or suffer the results of continuing the way you are.  God wants to transform you…God will ask you to submit to His will.  You will need to endure it if you were to become transformed.”  (Snyman kindle edition loc. 313)

The nugget?  Transform.  There is so much packed into this little quote but this is what stuck out.

  1. Change will be uncomfortable
  2. God wants to transform me
  3. I will need to submit.

2 Corinthians 3:18 says, “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.” (NASB)

Everything I have written down for the coming year all comes down to “Transformation”.  The cool thing, is I can’t do it. It’s why I fail every year because I try to do it in my own strength.  I don’t do the work, I can’t, but God can.

My part is to seek out a deeper relationship with the One who can do the work in me.  My Relationship with God involves four things; read the word, pray, and obedience.  These are the basics but there is one more, solitude.  Why solitude?  I can be still and listen more intently when I take the time away from the busyness of life.

Jesus, in Luke 5:16, took time often to go to a secluded place to pray.  The key word is often.  The way I understand it Jesus had His “quiet time” with the Father every day; however, there seems to be times that perhaps He needed a more intimate and focused time away from everything.

So back to my lists.  I’ve decided to go with a word for the year instead of solely working the lists.  Transformation.  It’s good to have goals to work towards, but we can get into trouble when we hold too tightly to them and that stifles God work.

I know that this coming year will have its ups and downs.  I also know that God is already in December 31, 2017 and has a wonderful plan for me.  He is in control and He will do whatever it takes to have His plans accomplished.

I’m excited, yet nervous at the same time.  I don’t like the unknowns but there is peace knowing that He knows and that He has the power to transform me to His Son, Jesus’, likeness.  This transformation may not be what I envision,  but it will be the best transformation ever.  Most importantly it will reflect the glory of Him who did the work.

 “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18 (NASB)

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It’s hard to believe that Christmas is here again, and it’s even harder to believe how little I’ve written this year.  Both were brought to mind when I heard “The Little Drummer Boy” playing on the radio the other day.


The first brings cheerful thoughts, lights, food, family and of course the music.


The second makes me cringe just a little.


God has given each of spiritual gifts and talents to use for His purpose, honor and glory.


For several months I haven’t been doing what He has called me to do.  Some of it has to do with fear, doubt and perhaps a loss of joy in it.  But as the little drummer boy he gave his best to the king in the manger, I should be a steward with what He have given me


I also realized that perhaps I have relied on my own ideas of how to use them and not taken into account that yes there has been disobedience but there has also been obedience. Once a month I send an e-mail out to a group of ladies to encourage them in their walk as well as those who are in my Bible study group.


For me the the little drummer boy song reminded me of the gifts, talents, and skills the Lord has given me. My job is to be obedient in using them for His honor and glory.  By doing so in essence I am laying them at His feet, giving them back to Him as a gift of appreciation.


It doesn’t matter how big or small they are. The question that needs to be asked is “Are we obeying the Gift giver by using them for Him?


My middle daughter Emily has a talent for photography.  Last year was frustrating for her. She got passed over for award after award to fellow students who were at a lower level.


I asked her “Would you prefer all the medals and trophies the world could offer or would you rather hear ‘Well done my good and faithful servant. You have used the talent I have given you for My purposes and honor.’ ?”


This year she won top in show, and her picture is hanging at a museum in St. Petersburg, Florida.  What was the picture of?  My sister’s funeral.  The caption expressed sadness, but that it was a celebration of life.  Individuals who read it may ask how can death be a celebration? A seed may have been planted that will cause them to seek God.


When we’re obedient – we’ll also be held accountable – in using what He’s given us, He’ll in turn use it in ways we never knew could imagine.


Are you using the gifts and talents God has given you?


Just as the little drummer boy gave all he had, give God your “Finest gift”. Don’t neglect them no matter how unimportant or insignificant you think they are.  Rely on Him to give you competence to use them so that He will receive the honor and glory.


If you’re not His child you can give your finest gift, your heart.  No matter what you’ve done, or what you think can and cannot offer Him, give Him yourself.  There’s nothing more He would love this Christmas than to adopt you as one of His own.  (See the tab “Invitation” at the top of the page)


Matthew 2:1-12; Matthew 25:14-27; Luke 21:1-4

Have a Merry Christmas and Wonderful New Year

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I’ve always been overwhelmed by the fact that God chose to be one of us, and to give up everything to become a helpless baby, to be laid in an animal feeding trough.

As I write this I’m preparing to go shopping for the perfect gifts for family and friends.  Sometimes those gifts are things the individual needs, more times then not they are things the individual wants.  As I get older, the less I want and the more I desire to give.  But it can be stressful, trying to find the “perfect” gift.

Christmas, though, is the day we celebrate the fact that God gave the perfect gift to the world.  The baby born so long ago filled both the world’s needs and wants (whether it realizes it or not).

We are all sinners.  Of course not all of us have killed, but who reading this has never lied, said a cross word, worried, or stole a cookie?  It’s all sin.  Like Paul, there are I times that I can say “I’m the chief of sinners.”

The worst part of sin is not that it hurts others – which it does – but that it separates us from the One who created us and wants a relationship with us.  The consequence for sin is death not only physically, but spiritually.  It’s why the sacrificial system was put in place.  A lamb without any defect, including spots, was sacrificed to pay for all the wrong doing.

I’m no more perfect than you.  I need, you need and the world needs a Savior.  That little baby more than two thousand years ago was that Savior.  He came, lived, and taught others how to live, but that wasn’t His purpose.

His purpose was to be that perfect sacrifice, without sin or defect.  He left the riches of heaven to die a cruel death to satisfy the requirement of His Father.  The good news is He didn’t stay dead. He rose from the grave three days later.  If He hadn’t all that He accomplished on the cross was for nothing.  If there could be any other way, His death would mean absolutely nothing.

His coming that Christmas morning also provided for our wants.  Many times we think if I could just have more money, a nicer house, perfect children, perfect spouse or perfect job, life would be satisfying.  However, when we get more or have the perfect family or job, we find it’s not enough.  Why?  Because when we were created there was this void built in us that can never be satisfied unless it’s filled with Him.

He created us for a relationship with Himself.  Too simple?  Yes, but also the hardest concept to accept especially in a culture that thrives on the mentallity of “dependence on self.”

As the story reveals the wise men sought God out, found Him and presented Him with the best they had.  Unfortunately, our best isn’t good enough.  It never will be, but Christ gave His best and that is enough.

How about you?  Have you ever genuinely chosen to seek Him?  Are you a skeptic and have you snubbed the whole idea of this whole Savior thing?  I challenge you, seek Him and the truth with an open heart and mind.  Ask Him to show you the truth.

If you are willing, open the Invitation Tab above.  It may be the answer you’re looking for or it could be your starting place.  There is the perfect gift waiting for you, but you have to accept it.  It won’t be yours any other way.


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