Solitude with the Father

My stomach is turning like my dryer tumbles the clothes. “What if this publishing house accepts my manuscript? Then what? How am I going to do this? It means getting out of my comfort zone. It might mean Facebook which I’ve been fighting against or seeking well-known authors for endorsements, not to mention what affect this may have on my family.

My pastor has been teaching on Elijah’s life. This week’s sermon was about when he fled from Jezebel because she threatened his life. God had just given Elijah a victory at Mount Carmel over the prophets of Baal. He then killed all them. But when the queen threatened his life he fled in fear and fell into a depression. After finding a hiding place he told God he wanted to die.

The part that really struck me was what God said to Elijah. God asked, “What are you doing here?” My pastor pointed out “It’s like he had forgotten what had just occurred and all the other miracles God worked in and through him.”

I felt God was saying the same thing to me. “Christine what are you doing in this cave of “fear” and “what ifs”? Have you not seen what I just did, this past week?”

He is right of course. I went from sending a query letter to submitting a proposal. This could not have happened without God. So what makes me think He won’t help with all the other things if this manuscript is to be published?

The sad thing is that fear doesn’t occur in the area of writing. For me it comes when my husband doesn’t sleep solidly for weeks on end. It overwhelms me when I get the phone call “Your mole is abnormal” or when one of my daughters is not immediately visible when it is pick up time at the mall.

The what if game begins. Much like “The Hunger Game” story the arrows of “should haves”, the knives of “incompetence” and the spears of “I can’t do this” tear through my body and I am rendered useless. Then the Sponsor, my Heavenly Father says, “Christine what are you doing here? Of course you can’t do this; that’s what I’m here for.” So instead of sending me a ointment He comes and fights for me. He does the work.

My job is to turn my focus back to God, take my fears to Him, let go of them and leave them there by walking away from them. I know this is easier said then done. But that is trust, which allows Him to work. Then I can praise Him whatever the result and move forward.

What fears wreak havoc in your life? Have you been obedient to God and suddenly fear shows up and your doubting, frozen dead in your tracks?

Take it to God. Seek others out to pray with you and claim this promise with me:

“For I am the Lord, your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you.”   Isaiah 41:13