Solitude with the Father

My stomach turned. I hadn’t seen the couple in three years and I certainly didn’t want to see them now. I was going only because my daughter was playing in the game. By the time I arrived at church, dropped my daughter off, and parked I was crying almost to the point of hyperventilating.

You see this couple was going to adopt my niece. My family thought it was great. They changed her name in the school she was attending and allowed her to call them mom and dad. However, without any warning, two years later, they called and said we can’t do this and we are sending her back to you.

We were shocked and angry. This little one had been through enough, her father died of an overdose and her mother (my sister) was in prison. My parents adopted her instead. For months my niece would say “I want to go home, mommy and daddy did this or that, or listen to the funny things my brothers did.” I would clench with anger. It took everything in me to say absolutely nothing.

Over the past three years when I heard their name anger flared. They come down twice a year and see her and I  stay as far away as possible. In Matthew West’s song “Forgiveness“ he points out even when people tell me that I have a right to be angry and not forgive, it’s not what God asks of me.

As I sat in the car I realized that my overwhelming emotion, was not just the fact that I had to see them, but that God wanted me to forgive, not just right there and then but to their faces.

“If this is what you want God, I can’t do it. There is no way,” I said out loud trying to take a breath, “But if it’s what you want, I will, but You will have to give me the strength to do it.”

After the game, with my parents by my side I said, “Over the past three years I have been so resentful towards you, not for myself or my parents but for my niece. I know this is where God wants her. But as a Christian forgiveness is not an option. So I want to tell you I forgive you. This is a hard thing for me to do but there it is.”

When I walked to my other daughter’s game the tears flowed. This time it came from the shock of what transpired and the sense of freedom I had.

I think one reason God asks us to forgive is not for the benefit of the one forgiveness is extended to, but it’s for the one who is offering the forgiveness. It’s the hardest response we can give to some one who has hurt us, but there is no greater peace felt when we do.

How about you? Is there someone that has hurt you or someone you love? Have you been carrying resentment, bitterness and unforgiveness?

Take it to God today. He will give you the strength to forgive them whether it is face to face, over the phone or, just in acknowledgement to God. It maybe a moment by moment or situation by situation thing. Resentment will rear its ugly head again. Remember you have forgiven them and immediately take it to God. He’ll take care of it.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Ephesians 4:32 (NIV 1984)